Here is a good challenge for you to do since it’s Saturday and it’s meant to rain all weekend (at least in NYC it is.) (and if you’re anything like me, you love impromptu challenges.)
First I will start with a couple of questions:
1. How many people do you have in your life?
2. Have you ever evaluated your relationship with these people?
Now comes the “challenge” part:
Please write down a list of the top 10 people that are in your life right now.
(You know, the ones that come right to mind when you think of them. Could be co-workers, employees, partners, family members, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, anyone and everyone that you come into contact with on a regular basis.)
On the same piece of paper (maybe on the back), create 2 columns.
On the left, write “Inspire” and on the right, write “Deplete”.
When I say “Inspire”, I mean people who love life, who have the confidence you’ve always wanted, who have the relationships you admire, people you admire for their compassion or abilities, who are achieving amazing things in their lives, and people who really support and care about you. You generally feel a bounce in your step when you are done spending time with them.
When I say “Deplete”, I mean people who make you feel bad, or those who have a negative energy (think perma-frown), those who simply don’t challenge you or add any value to your life, or the ones who make you feel insecure, guilty, unsuccessful, deflated or small. You rarely laugh hard around them and they rarely ask you about you. You also generally feel anxious, tired or down after spending time with them.
I took a hard look at my list of people I come into contact with over the years and in doing this, I started observing how I FEEL after I spend time with people. That’s when everything changed for me. I decided to only spend time with and work with people who challenge me to be better, make me feel strong, lifts me up, and makes me more confident in my abilities. I wasn’t looking for people to walk all over, just people who influenced me in a good way and who left me with a glow after spending time with them.
You want your life to be an inspiring one, not a boring, or insecure one. Certainly, not a life with people getting wasted on weekends and one that doesn’t add any value to humanity and society (whatever “society” is in its ever-changing form). You don’t want to be around people talking shit about others (because all that means is that they’re insecure about themselves.) You want to be around people who share uplifting stories and who are eternally hopeful.
Once you make the list of people who “Inspire” you and “Deplete” you, all you need to do is eliminate the ones on the “Deplete” side.
I am not saying that it’s going to be easy in the short term and it may take you some time to get there, but in the long term, this is the only way you will make space for good energy in your life.
You may start with zero people on your “Inspire” side. That’s ok too! As soon as you clean house, you will start to attract the people you are looking for in your life.
Join clubs of things you are interested in (sports, dance, sewing, book club, whatever you love doing!). All of the people who poo poo’ed your favorite things will no longer be around anyway. Take classes. Volunteer. Do an internship for fun of something you really like where you know you’ll enjoy the people.
Now ask yourself:
Who are 5 people who you know (even if acquaintances) who inspire you to do what you love, to be better, and who make you feel most alive when around them? Write their names down and start nurturing those relationships.
Would love to hear your stories!
I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of “success” lately.
Why is “success” mainly based on dollars earned? Is it because it’s physically measurable?
If success and money are no longer related, then what is the new measure of success? How are we reframing the new definition of success?
To me, today, the new measure of success is “taking action” and “moving forward in a positive direction”. Success is being able to reframe and replace the word “problem” with “opportunity” - an opportunity to solve a problem.
I went to see President Clinton and Chelsea speak last night and they both talked about making plenty of mistakes at the Clinton Foundation - they have millions of dollars to work with, top academics and philanthropists supporting them and yet, they make BIG, costly mistakes. And rather than lamenting about it, President, in his typical optimistic way, said “The comeback effort is exhilarating.”
We need to continue to reframe things positively in our minds in order to keep moving in a positive direction (successfully).
If we can always focus on the desired outcome, and not on the day-to-day “problems” (opportunities), then we will find the strength to get through it all.
So. It’s mid February, my favorite kind of snow is falling serenely down from the sky and I finally have a moment to pause and reflect on what’s happened this year so far.
“Intense” is the likely the most relevant word to describe what has transpired already in 2013.
The story goes:
I went to Panama for New Years on a surprise trip from Andrew and Nick (love you guys) and spent it on an island with 30 amazing movers and shakers who are officially friends for life (#yomfy).
The day I came back from Panama, I turned around and headed to China to visit our manufacturing partners for my latest social enterprise called THINX (shethinx.com - check it out and please support the project!) and while I was there, I participated in a unique Chinese tea ceremony that gave me clarity on a few very important business decisions.
The day I arrived from China, I restructured my entire staff at the restaurant and finally was able to start anew, clean slate and I brought on an amazing hospitality branding consultant (Zach, you are my hero) to help take the restaurant to the next level. We are even soon changing the name to Wild (so that we can really embody farm-to-table) and we are completely redoing the menu which is so exciting!
We hired a new chef and a whole new back of house team, and a fantastic seasoned new front of house team that is now being properly trained to talk about our food and drinks in the way they deserve to be talked about (we use the very best ingredients and our guests need to know this!)
We are still ironing out the kinks but I feel great about the progress.
I am so grateful to have amazing people around me who have supported me through this transition.
In other news, my book manuscript is officially complete! I finally submitted 298 pages plus Tony Hsieh’s foreword (he’s the CEO of Zappos!) to Harper Collins and they were thrilled! Book should be on the shelves in mid June, assuming no meteor hits New York.
Also, our THINX Kickstarter campaign is also really coming along so please check it out and support the campaign! We need all the help we could get! www.shethinx.com (make sure you watch both videos!)
So much going on and so much to be thankful for. Thanks for reading.
Testing out new wild pizzas
About to meet the leader of all women leaders-Frances Hesselbein (former CEO of Girl Scouts)
With one of my entrepreneurial heroes :-) he is looking forward to reading my book!!
Miki n Radha
So. Harper Collins bought my book in August entitled “Do Cool Sh*t”. I have less than two months left before I have to submit the full manuscript.
The book’s subtitle is “Quit Your Day Job, Start Your Own Business, And Live Happily Ever After”.
I must say though, the book is about more than that.
It’s about understanding how to embrace the most authentic version of yourself in business and in life. It’s also the guide that will get you from Step O to Step 1 in business if you have an idea brewing in your mind but don’t know how to launch it or execute it. Most books don’t explain how to get your foot jammed in the door before you can pry it open. This book will show you how.
My authentic experience, stories and lessons span from growing up in a Japanese/Indian household in Montreal, Canada, attending Cornell University, studying abroad in London, missing 9/11 when I was working on Wall Street, playing soccer for the NY Magic in the W-USA league, starting my own business (www.sliceperfect.com) with a total of ZERO experience and figuring out how to actually run a small business in New York City (pretty much the most competitive city in the whole world).
The book will break down exactly how I raised money from investors, how I got press without knowing anyone (like how I got the Food Network to follow me for four months), how I fought back after making huge mistakes, and then the book goes into more personal stuff like how to find love when you’re really busy, how to build “your tribe” (ie. your community of friends and supporters who inspire you and not deplete you) and how to very easily stay in shape while you’re busy.
I am excited to share more as the book progresses!