Drama ensued at Slice West Village yesterday. Here is series of events that happened that led to the drama:

I was at Slice WV having a meeting with a future wholesale client. I then biked over to the New School to attend a panel talk about “how to become a greener city” led by the Mayor of Vancouver who is attempting to make Vancouver the greenest city in the world by 2020.

As I was listening to the talk, I received a text message. It was from a Cornell friend, Josh, who I ran into while shopping for wine glasses who also now owns a restaurant in the West Village (called Chop Tank).

The text from him read: “I’m at CB2. Slice is on the agenda.” I thought he was at “Crate and Barrell 2” and was coming to try Slice after he was finished shopping. (Incorrect translation.)

I wrote back: “Nice! What time were you thinking?”

He wrote back: “Are you applying for cafe seating?” (Huh?)

I wrote: “Yes, have a public hearing in 10 days. Are you?”

He wrote: “I am at the meeting now and you’re on the Agenda. Slice West Village right?”

I wrote: “What? I was told that my hearing was in 10 days! Am I supposed to be there?”

He wrote: “Are you applying for Cafe License?”

I wrote: “Yes Josh, I am!”

He wrote: “You’re up next.”.

So basically I was about to miss the Community Board meeting for our sidewalk cafe (I never got a letter in the mail about this Community Board meeting, I got one about the one on the 29th) and if I didn’t magically show up there, I would have to wait another 30 DAYS before we got another hearing.

He wrote: “I can ask them to hold off.”

I wrote: “Yes! Please hold off!”

He wrote: “Bring plans.” (Bring plans!? I didn’t have plans on me!)

I wrote: “How much time do I have?”

He wrote: “I don’t know.”

That’s when I shot up out of my seat at the panel discussion at the New School and sprinted down to my bicycle, raced like Lance Amstrong at the Finish Line to my apartment, printed out the sidewalk cafe plans and then Usain Bolted it (if he was a cyclist) down to Carmine and Bleeker. Did all of this in under 17 minutes.

I got there and there were about 25 people sitting there, with expressions like they would have if they were at the DMV waiting painfully for the next person to go. 

So how the Community Board meetings work is as follows: A panel of people go through the drawing plans and people in the neighborhood who have objections come and try to cause problems and attempt to have you not open your sidewalk cafe. 

So my name was then called and I walked up to the Panel of 6 people (by myself). Most restaurants come with at least 2-3 people (show of strength), I came Han-solo, which looking back, may have a been a good thing because the panel may have felt sorry for me and was more lenient with me as a result.

They made their comments and then asked the crowd if anyone had any objections (like at a wedding) and of course, some guy bum rushed the panel with his own set of hand drawings. He said that he lived in our building and our exhaust fan was making a lot of noise (pointing vehemently at his set of hand drawings). What the HE** did that have to do with Sidewalk Cafe? He was quickly quieted by the panel and the DRAMA ended. 

Thank you Josh for saving my A**. ‘Za on me.